Then I changed my mind. I was all about shutting the blog down, turning tail, walking away. I thought there was nothing else to say. Then some pain in the arse American dude mentioned my name and, seeing as I think the sun shines out of his arse, I decided to hold on for just a little bit longer.
I still have no motivation. I think they call my current mood a funk, or a low ebb? Something like that, whatever it is that leads you to eat nothing but toast for a week, makes you too lazy to go out to get pissed and sees you waking up next to your fridge with a blinding headache surrounded by empty bottles.
One day I'll do the things I intend to, like wash my car (four months) or my sheets (seven weeks) maybe I'll cut my toe nails (five weeks) have a shave (three weeks) all those forgotten things that are easy to put off until later and later and later.
I might even get all cheery and post up the photos from my birthday. The one where a nice man, who is far better than I deserve, took me to Sydney and treated me to a lovely time with lots of nights out and fancy drinks on pretty glassware.
Maybe I'll settle on the fictional piece I've been telling myself I'll write for the last five years and write a corny gay romance about two buff country lads. Ooh, or I could go and visit the ever expanding list of places noted down in my phone and take the nice photos I've been thinking about for months.
Or I might just make myself get out of bed before lunchtime and eat something that isn't toast. Baby steps and all.
The facebook about someone volunteering to be my life coach, that was genuine. I'll take it on beard if you want to show me how to function properly again. My first self-imposed step is to not leave it two months between posts here, you can start timing me... Now, if you like.